give me something to believe in
by tinted lens
Summary: They're more than just numbers. / or, drabbles centered on the examinees.


**title; **give me something to believe in  
**summary; **They're more than just numbers. / or, drabbles centered on the examinees.

i do not own _hxh_. quote below from lenka's song _live like you're dying_.

**a/n; **i am strangely proud of this. why are these characters so underappreciated, again?

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_take every moment; you know that you own them_

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**#191 **and **#371**

Bodoro remembers his first gesture to him, just moments after he arrives in the tunnel.

"Bodoro," he smiles, careful to drop his guard just enough yet not too much, holding out his hand to shake. He had made a point to try and introduce him to whoever he feels necessary.

The stranger smiles back, perhaps a little too wide. "Gozu." His grip is neither strong nor loose. "Pleased to meet you."

As they begin running, he hears him say, the friendly smile still on his face, "Good luck."

He nods. Maybe he'll be someone he'll look forward to seeing again.

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**#197**,** #198** and** #199**

"Brother," Imori sighs, putting down the knife. "I have no idea how these things work."

"That's a surprise." Amori laughs. "I can't even remember the last time you cooked something without putting anyone in immediate danger."

"That's not true!" he protests. "I boiled eggs last week, remember?"

Umori snickers. "Yeah, then you forgot to turn off the stove." he says, "If we hadn't gotten home in time the house would've burnt down."

"But don't worry. We'll figure it out, together."

"I mean, we can't be Hunters if we don't, so it's not like we have a choice."

Imori smiles. "I guess so."

"Good. Now start staring at the ninja guy over there, maybe we can get him to tell us what the hell this sushi thing is."

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**#384**

He walks away.

"I'm going to live, no matter what."

He doesn't know, exactly, why anyone would want to listen to the idea of staying in and wait until nightfall. He is not stupid – he had checked the water and food supplies, twice, to make sure that it could only keep the thirty six of them alive, barely, for another three days.

He'd help, of course – he is as much selfish as he is stupid – but, he repeats, this is a competition, an exam, and he had been tricked before by a fellow teammate disguised as a friend before, leaving him injured when the examiners found him. He had no intention of letting that happen again, this time.

So he can only silently apologize as he picks up the supplies and stuffs them into his own bag.

He grins when he finds the boat, trapped between two rocks just near the waters, still in perfect working condition. Whoever left it here certainly didn't know better, he thinks. They can do whatever they want without him. He's going to leave, tonight.

He simply has to do it alone.

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**#118 **and **#384**

Kamori clutches his shoulder, gesturing him to walk the other way.

Sommy doesn't argue. He is an animal, and an animal is closer to nature than a human. He knows better than he does about this.

He looks at the water, one last time. "Geretta," he murmurs.

"Don't get attached," his father says as he leaves with Kamori, back turned against him. "Kill them with kindness and make me proud."

Sommy can only nod.

He sighs. "I'm sorry."

Later, as he sees Geretta, holding desperately onto the paddles as the waves carry him farther away, he wonders if he shouldn't be feeling guilty, now.

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**#246 **and **#53**

He never did like taking risks.

His hand is still gripping the lever, unsure on whether to pull it now or not. He doesn't want anything to go wrong.

An arrow goes straight to whichever way he wants it to be – he wishes it could be the same with life, sometimes. He wonders if she feels the same way. He doesn't ask.

"To think that, the lives of twenty-four people depend on this decision," he whispers, just barely audible among the noise, but she hears it anyway.

She smiles at him, as if reassuring, and her hands wrap around his. When the lights turn on and it's finally time to breathe he thinks he'd like to hug her, or something, just to celebrate the fact that they've succeeded.

She does it first.

For a moment, he feels safe and comfortable and everything is alright, just before they pull away. He wants it to last longer than that.

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**#105**

When he is asked of his motives, Kyu answers with a defiant, "I want to be known."

Kyu is many things. He is a good strategist, a fast runner and a nice person, he lists. And he wants to be remembered for that – he wants everyone to think of those qualities when they see him, showing his Hunter license to the world with a proud smirk.

If he becomes a Hunter, this year, he can be known. He can make everyone overlook his flaws. He can shine – he will. He has to.

The captain seems pleased.

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**#80**

Nobody ever asked for her reason.

Siper wouldn't tell even if she was asked, nonetheless, but if she would she'd say it is because of her sister.

She still remembers her, her wide smile of sunshine and beauty and the way she thinks that "nothing bad will happen to good people, Siper," – the last thing she says to her, before she identifies her corpse the next morning, bloodstained and discolored and she thinks it might not be her sister altogether in the morgue, on the verge of tears, but she knows she has to stay strong. She wants her to.

It was a bank robbery, she later reads on the headlines of newspapers. Her parents are already dead, killed in an accident. She can only count the days before she will be taken to a relative's house.

She holds a gun – her father's – for the first time after his death, as she takes them down the stands and shelves to be sold. She's never had any use to them.

She starts taking lessons the following year.

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**#111**

She muses on what could have been.

If things have gone differently, she might not even think of being here. She might still be staying in her room, laughing and smiling and perfectly oblivious.

Her fingers brush over the cracked glass. The reflection looks back at her, eyes red and teary, the earrings still new and shining against black hair.

Anita turns away, clutching the knife even tighter until it stabs into her stomach. It doesn't hurt nearly as much as she hoped, but she collapses nonetheless.

The world blurs into emptiness.

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**yes, Anita's drabble is au.**

**review?**


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